


Exhale

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013)
Genre: Aspergers, Lung Cancer, M/M, Sickfic, Spacedogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 06:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11285946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: Nigel learns he may still be a killer after all.





	Exhale

The coughing started as just that, a cough. Adam didn't enjoy it, but he figured it would pass. Until it didn't. It only grew worse. It was four thirty in the morning when Nigel sat up with him, as he coughed and coughed, until blood burst from his lips.

The next day they arrived at the hospital. They suspected pneumonia, and wanted to do an x-ray of Stars chest. Nigel paid immediately with money that may or may not have come from legal sources.

When they found the white patches along his left lung, they admitted him. Adam had a panic attack once he realized he had to stay in the germy, crowded wards for longer than the day. Nigel held his hands so he wouldn't hit his head.

The weeks following as he worsened were hell. Nigel sat with him day and night as he coughed up blood, only to gasp for breath. The night Adam woke up screaming in pain, was the night they determined his brain wasn't getting enough oxygen. They rushed him into surgery, while Nigel went out and smoked cigarette after cigarette, not feeling any relief.

He was in a medically induced coma when they brought Nigel the news.

"Adam Raki has lung cancer. His lungs resemble that of a heavy smoker. Do you know if he smokes?"

The stone hit the bottom of his stomach, and he felt a wave of dizziness. He could hear the nurse and the doctor both calling him, but he felt like he was the one who couldn't breathe. Everything hit him at once and he realized the horrifying truth.

"H-He doesn't. He never... I do. He despises it."

The doctor and the nurse both left after explaining treatments. Mostly incurable cancer, could be treated with chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and more surgeries. As his husband, and the only one around to sign papers, he agreed to anything and everything.

It was another week before they took the breathing tube away and woke Adam, to start chemo. He didn't respond well, throwing up all over his bed and coughing.

Nigel reared up when they shaved off the dying curls from his stars head. His eyes were dull and defeated, and he didn't say a word, even as the blades got near his ears and buzzed, which he knew Adam didn't like. Afterwards, he wouldn't stop rubbing his bare head. Eventually he cried, until he started having another coughing fit. He had to push it back inside.

Nigel started wearing four nicotine patches at once, despite what the package said. He desperately wanted to smoke, so badly that he had punched a nurse when she asked why he was shaking. He almost got dragged out, screaming the whole way, until he fell to the floor crying. The security guards had mercy on him, and let him go back in the room.

Another eleven months of treatments, and an experimental drug, things started to look up, if only a little. Adams eyes got brighter, and he stayed awake longer. He still had to have oxygen, but he could walk to the bathroom, and walking in general was a miracle. He was so skinny, that it broke Nigel's heart. He could snap like a twig. He didn't like most of the hospital food.

One day, Nigel realized it was looking up. They moved from the plastic glowing stars on the hospital ceiling, to the night sky outside in the hospital parking lot. The lights blocked the sky for the most part, but as Adam spoke in a quiet voice about the stars he had missed the most, and pointed to them, Nigel realized he was smiling for the first time in weeks. They had to go back inside quickly, but it was enough to give Adam the courage he needed.

After seeing the sky, he gained a new determination. He took his medicines, he tried to eat the hospital food, and he even followed up every nap with a kiss. Nigel was feeling hope, for the first time in a while, and he didn't want to celebrate with a cigarette.

It was another three months before they let Adam out of the hospital, with an oxygen tank and a beanie to cover his still short, thin hair. As soon as they were back in the apartment, Nigel made Adam sit and read while he dusted and cleaned. He even vacuumed.

As soon as he was satisfied, he sat down on the couch and lifted Adam into his lap, kissing him until he was breathless for a good reason. He rubbed his back and felt his breath going in and out, and felt the tears in his eyes.

"Nigel?"

"I almost lost you star. I almost killed you." Nigel whispered. He cleared his throat, trying to maintain composure, but he knew he was failing. Adam smiled and kissed each eyelid, his air tube hitting Nigel's face. 

"You could never kill me."

"But I almost did. And it will never happen again. I'm never picking up another cigarette, cigar, or pipe. Darling, we're never even going to light a fucking candle. I just want to hold you here." Nigel said gently.

"You have to set up my breathing machine in the bedroom." Adam reminded. Nigel sighed. He did have to get that damn machine set up so Adam could sleep without choking to death. He needed constant fresh air in his weak lungs. He looked up and put a hand on the side of Adams face, brushing the smooth skin.

"My star... just stay with me for a few minutes. It's been too long since I've held you." Nigel said. Adam sighed and slumped against him, laying against his chest and tucking his beanie-covered head into Nigel's neck.

"I've missed you too." Adam smiled. He reached out and intertwined their fingers, letting their hands lay on Nigels hip.

It wasn't a perfect ending to their story. Breathing tubes, and a new diet. But Adam was living, breathing. He had a heart beat. That's all Nigel wanted. His bright star, alive and in his arms once again. He was never going to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've seen tfios but that's about all the info I have about lung cancer. Sorry about that. Prompt from tumblr, but I can't find who asked for it!


End file.
